tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-68863325380308307982024-02-06T19:30:59.369-08:00Adoptive Parents News NetworkThe Official Adoptive Parents Network News Blog and the number one way to stay connected!Adoptive Parents Networkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11986587986645318359noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6886332538030830798.post-10996861477631423362013-03-22T10:20:00.000-07:002013-03-22T10:20:37.739-07:00Parent -- Self CareParenting, can take just about everything a person has, to keep up with day-to-day life. Maintaining a standard of living, a clean and organized household, and the added routines of children can become overwhelming, or all consuming. I was a young, healthy 21 year old mother of two biological children in a stable relationship with my husband, and still found that there were stages during my parenting where I was lost to the routing, and consumed with all things Mommy.<br />
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There is nothing wrong with putting our whole self into being parents. But, there is something better about being parents who remember to take care of ourselves first. This is even more important for parents with children who have special needs. It's easy to allow the needs of the child to dominate life and the routine of life to be focused only on the special needs of our child. It is probably even normal for parents to become focused on Only the needs of the child, especially at those crisis points, and when changes take place.<br />
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When my 9-year old biological son, went to play one snowy day with a friend across the road, I had no clue I would become the mother of a special needs child in an instant. But, I did. He took one more unapproved sled ride down the street and ended up lifeflighted to the hospital that day. His life forever changes with a traumatic leg injury. My life thrust into parenting a special needs child, doing things I never thought I would ever do before. Facing, a future of years of surgery, therapy and pain medication for my baby boy. I still had a family, a husband, daughter and the same obligations in life as I did the day before. It was easy to lose myself during the years of recovery for my son and the grief and trauma of the whole near loss of his left leg.<br />
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During the crisis, during the months of non-stop recover or change in life routine it is easy to forget that underneath it all is still the person we are, and it is still our life we live. It is healthy to be there 100% during the crisis our children face, during the moments we must put our needs second because our child is the most important. When the dust settles it's vital we rebuild our own strengths and remain stable and strong.<br />
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Often, it does not even require a lot of time as long as we care for ourselves a parent can maintain a healthy balance. I find it's important to take some breaks and also find that DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) offers some good skills to start with for<u> </u><b><a href="http://www.truerecovery.org/learning-center/dbt-dialectical-behavior-therapy/115-section-8-self-soothing-with-five-senses" target="_blank">Self Care and the Five Senses.</a> </b><br />
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<b>Related Links:</b></h4>
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<li><b><a href="http://www.truerecovery.org/learning-center/dbt-dialectical-behavior-therapy/115-section-8-self-soothing-with-five-senses" target="_blank">Self Care and the Five Senses</a></b></li>
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<br />De Anna Glendenninghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09148649202315837222noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6886332538030830798.post-23411875712022715142013-03-12T10:38:00.001-07:002013-03-12T10:38:47.116-07:00Webinar: Building Bonds of Attachment: Practical, Expert Advice<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, 'Lucida Grande', Lucida, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px;">Deborah Gray specializes in the attachment, grief, and trauma issues of children in her practice, </span><a href="http://www.deborahdgray.com/" style="color: #333399; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, 'Lucida Grande', Lucida, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px;" target="_blank">Nurturing Attachments</a><span style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, 'Lucida Grande', Lucida, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px;">. Her methods of working with children and families reflect her strong developmental and infant mental health perspective. </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #444444; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, 'Lucida Grande', Lucida, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 15px;"><br /></span></span>
<a href="http://www.adoptionlearningpartners.org/catalog/webinars/building-bonds-of-attachment-practical-expert-advice.cfm?fb_action_ids=10151327815836616&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_source=aggregation&fb_aggregation_id=288381481237582" target="_blank"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, 'Lucida Grande', Lucida, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 21px; line-height: 24px; text-align: right;">Live Webinar </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, 'Lucida Grande', Lucida, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 18px; text-align: right;">Tuesday </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, 'Lucida Grande', Lucida, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 18px; text-align: right;">March 12, 2013 at </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, 'Lucida Grande', Lucida, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 18px; text-align: right;">7:00PM Central with </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, 'Lucida Grande', Lucida, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 18px; text-align: right;">Q&A: 8:00PM cost is $15.00</span></a><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, 'Lucida Grande', Lucida, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 18px; text-align: right;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, 'Lucida Grande', Lucida, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 18px; text-align: right;">Deborah Gray, is</span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, 'Lucida Grande', Lucida, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 18px; text-align: right;"> </span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, 'Lucida Grande', Lucida, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">an adoption therapist specializing in attachment, grief and trauma issues in children, will provide practical steps that move parents toward building trusting relationships and secure attachments with their child.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, 'Lucida Grande', Lucida, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Submit your questions for Deborah Gray </span><a href="https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/HL36SKG" style="color: #333399; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, 'Lucida Grande', Lucida, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" target="_blank">here</a><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, 'Lucida Grande', Lucida, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;"> or by tweeting them to</span><a href="https://twitter.com/#!/adoptiontweet" style="color: #333399; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, 'Lucida Grande', Lucida, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" target="_blank">@adoptiontweet</a><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, 'Lucida Grande', Lucida, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;"> using #ALPAttach13.</span></span>De Anna Glendenninghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09148649202315837222noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6886332538030830798.post-60267753603527731632013-03-07T09:23:00.000-08:002013-03-07T09:23:14.536-08:00Solid Foundation<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/206694_1314757767253_4270919_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/206694_1314757767253_4270919_n.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
We have heard it a million times--It's an old saying, and a fundamental teaching in nearly all mental, spiritual, religious, and build-you-up, kind of programs.<br />
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<b>It all starts with a solid foundation.</b><br />
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For parents it's based on love and respect for themselves and each other, a common vision, and dedication for the long haul.<br />
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For parents of children with special needs it may require some special efforts. The most important thing to remember is to always start at the foundation and work our way up. Our personal health and emotional stability can be the root of all success, and failures. Parenting is difficult under all circumstances and a long road. Children with special needs bring into our lives whatever our child's special needs require. The stronger our base, the better able we are to cope and move through the challenges our children add to basic parenting requirements.<br />
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Any set of special needs will include a long list of added issues for a parent to be responsible and able to advocate. It may include additional doctor or therapy appointments, additional school evaluations and meetings, additional matters to work through. I have had a child who was perfectly fine one day, and in the snap of a moment physically injured and facing a lifetime of change. Today, I am parenting siblings adopted from the foster care system with prenatal drug and alcohol exposure along with a list of emotional, behavioral, and learning needs. Each situation is very different. Each situation requires the best I have to offer as a mother.<br />
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There is a tendency when facing a crisis with our children for some of us to be swept into the whole thing and overwhelmed. It can become all consuming and overtime a parent can become lost in a world of trying to fix things for our children that we simply cannot control. I find, the best thing to do when I cannot control the world around myself, is to control myself.<br />
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It is generally, not wise to become lost in the whole situation. As parents, it is vital we keep our own identity and our personal relationship with each other. We need to remember, we are the solid foundation our children need most.<br />
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Each of us, have our own needs, and our own areas to work through. As a parent, one of the best ways we can show our children how to overcome their own issues is to set the example and never stop working on ourselves. As much as it seems while we are in the midst of parenting our children--they are the only concern--it is important to remember we need to keep our own identities and remember we are living our lives as well.<br />
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We will all have our own unique list of things about ourselves to watch out for, to change, to improve or to keep in mind. For me, it is remembering to keep myself fit and have my hair cut now and then. When I notice, I am lost for motivation or my hair is out of control I realize that I am making a project of my child special needs, and failing to meet my own needs. Yes, there are the times when things are in crisis or hectic and the little things slide. But, for me personally, the moment I notice I am stuck in a project it's time to take a break and tend to my needs.<br />
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A strong foundation starts with the parents involved and with effort and thought we can keep ourselves and our relationships while facing the challenges our special needs children bring to our lives.<br />
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<br />De Anna Glendenninghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09148649202315837222noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6886332538030830798.post-62056295394310674772013-02-19T10:24:00.001-08:002013-02-19T10:31:08.473-08:00Blog Submissions I started my<b><a href="http://newmemories.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"> personal blog</a></b>--about becoming an Adoptive Mother, over 10 years ago. It begins with the day I first met my nearly 1 year old baby for the first time. The oldest entries are raw and unorganized. I am sure there are dead links and long gone references...<br />
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I have suffered some judgement for sharing some of the story that has taken place. That is part of the nature of the journey I face as a mother of special children. Thick skin is required.<br />
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My reasons, for sharing my story have never been to exploit the situation--my reasons have been 100% an effort to find whatever my children need in order to do and be the best they are able. I began sharing my experiences Online, only because I was frustrated with the public school education system my child was not eligible to receive services from... Because, nothing really exists that would work best for my child. Fetal Alcohol Exposure and Reactive Attachment Disorder are NOT special needs identified as an educational special needs. My children, and untold numbers of other children, are therefore Identified by other labels.<br />
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Instead of the truth, and the real special needs my children, and all the other children suffering from the same issues, are being recognized in paperwork that reports our children have ADHD or Autism Spectrum something or another. Those needs are identified--treated and served. So lest just call an Apple an Orange instead.<br />
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When I went online to research what I could do as a mother of an extremely emotionally disturbed child with FASD who had been molested--and lived her first 4 years in a shopping cart, or on the sofa of anyone who would take her in....then was sent to two different Foster Homes, with her baby brother.... And the second foster family wanted to adopt Only Him... but, then one day--you meet your Forever Mom and Dad and turn 5 a few weeks later... And, No one really Understands.<br />
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There is no productive way to treat the Real issues my child has when everyone wants to label it as something it is not. The effort it has required and the extents that I have needed to take as a parent Are Important for Society to recognize and understand. So, I share a bit more than I should and that is how it is.<br />
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If you have a Blog about parenting a special needs child either a biological child or an adopted or foster child. If you are the parent of a child with emotional, behavioral, mental health, or physical disabilities and would like to become involved in an effort to help see some changes Please Join this Blog, Comment and Leave your Blog Link here.De Anna Glendenninghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09148649202315837222noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6886332538030830798.post-25927399180670560972013-02-17T09:13:00.002-08:002013-02-18T09:26:35.631-08:00A Parent's Network -- APN RevampIt has been a very long time since APN has been online. Originally, this was the Adoptive Parent's Network. It was a very successful and supportive website and forum for parents of Adopted Special Needs and Foster Children. We closed the Adoptive Parent's Network in 2008 after 5 years of online support for parents of some of the exceptions and most special needs children. A lot has happened in My Life and in the lives of my children since that day.<br />
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During the past few years, everything in my own personal life has completely changed. I have recently celebrated my 50th birthday and decided to complete the 2 years of education needed to back-up my act and be taken seriously. I have lived the system offered by the mental health services and education system. I have seen it from the inside, as a parent of a child with sever emotional, social and behavioral, mental health issues, and prenatal drug and alcohol exposure. I have also come to learn that, many children are effected just as my children, however they remain with their biological families. The issues my children face, are issues many families are facing with the children they are parenting. It is a reality and without support, information and change this reality will continue to effect everyone in our society.<br />
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Parents are Key to understanding, treating and helping children regardless of the issues and needs the child faces. My experience and observation is that there is a general lack of support and services For the Parent's of the children with special needs and mental health issues. In some cases, there is no support and parent's are blamed for the failure of the system and treatments offered. As an adoptive parent, I personally have not faced the overwhelming implications that I personally may have caused some kind of damage to my unborn child. I have not faced the kind of shame many other mothers and parents know is very possibly their fault. I do however, understand that many parents come to know the reality of their own situation and the implications that their child does in fact suffer some of the same issues. One of the hallmarks of an addiction is in fact denial. Many parents come to recognize this denial does not heal their child. For those parents the first step is to accept the truth and learn to advocate for your child's best interests.<br />
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My experience with finding quality mental health services and meeting the educational needs of my children can be summed up with All Roads leading to the Same Place. Ultimately, no matter how, who, or why, my child is Special Needs and at the end of the day, my responsibility to parent. What I have found while seeking support, therapy and services for my children is a system designed to set a lofty goal, provide some superficial service, and then when the goal is not met, point to the family or parents as the reason for the failure of the service, close the case and file, and move on.<br />
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There is some General Implications, that I just need to hang-in long enough for the Criminal System to get involved or until my child is 18. There is little effort to consider long term outcome. The system insists on thinking of Only the Moment and only the day whatever works is fine. If it is not, and it continues to escalate, the Law will step in and continue to institutionalize our young people. It starts early with the identification of Behavior Risks, Threat Risks children. Those sent to the Behavior School, or child care center for future felons. Basically, the county school for children who have pre-criminal behaviors typically demonstrated at school. My child drew blood on the special education teacher before spending 4th grade across town, housed for several hours a day, with other children tagged to be criminals growing in the community. She learned a lot that year.<br />
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I have no real answers at this point. I do however think it is about time we as a country start to recognize the issues that are facing our children today. There should not be mass shootings, or bloody murders of innocent people for this country to recognize we need to look long and hard at the systems we have created to date and what needs to happen to make a change soon! Those of us who are Parenting a child with special needs, emotional, behavioral, mental health issues and social problems need to organize and mobilize We need to share stories, experience and ideas. We need to put them together and find a way to present what we know from the first-hand experiences we have encountered.<br />
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We the Parents are the first and most important authority in the lives of our children. We are their best advocates and we are the only one's who Love our children regardless of the special needs they may face. We want more for them then to get them to the age of 18 without horrible incidents. We have hopes and dreams for our child no matter what. Some of us have shame and guilt for the ways we caused or failed along the way. Some of us see or feel something we wish we did not about our child. About ourselves, about our families, our mates and each other.<br />
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My hope is that other parents will get involved with A Parent's Network, and share their stories. Share, experience and ideas, things that worked, things that failed. Network and brain storm ideas that might help, might work, might be realistic and possibly make some kind of change. What is happening now is clearly not working, what needs to happen requires Parent's of the children to be empowered and supported.<br />
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So, as I start the last few terms of my college education (only because experience means nothing without it), my hope is that the effort and energy I have right now will carry my 50 year old bones to speak up and prove this was all worth it. That the future of my children is more to me then getting them to age 18 without babies, drug problems or jail. I want them to grow, develop at their rate and reach for more than the system seems to feel they are doomed. I think we all want more for our children then that--and I think it will require a new way of thinking about our children, their needs and what our role in all of it is. One thing is clear, what has been going on does not work, so as Parents it is up to us to stand up for change.<br />
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<b><a href="http://apnblog.blogspot.com/p/submissions.html" target="_blank">Submissions</a></b>De Anna Glendenninghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09148649202315837222noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6886332538030830798.post-52024281175553590372009-02-09T08:59:00.000-08:002013-02-18T09:32:03.065-08:00State resources and SupportThis week the Adoptive Parents Network team will be building the State Resources section, where we hope to provide an easy way for visitors and members to share info about the resources in their states.<br /><br />We invite support group leaders, caseworkers, and other professionals to feel free to register and post information and notices in our forums and contribute to these sections. And encourage adoptive parents to add any of the local resources you have found helpful.<br /><br />The State Adoptive Parent, Foster Parent and Special Needs sections will be developed based on the input and contributions we receive from our members and visitors so, if you don't see anything from your state it's because it hasn't been submitted yet!<br /><br />Be sure to let us know about those services and supports your community has to offer so we can help other's in your state find them as the development of our website is all about the contributions we make!<br /><br />If you have anything to share feel free to <strong><a href="http://adoptiveparentsnetwork.com/contact/community-admin.html?catid=2">Contact Us</a></strong> or post a comment here and share!De Anna Glendenninghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09148649202315837222noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6886332538030830798.post-64504818788528141452009-02-03T02:22:00.001-08:002013-02-18T09:32:03.073-08:00important storyhttp://www.oregonlive.com/kiddo/index.ssf/2008/07/oregon_foster_families_get_17.htmlDe Anna Glendenninghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09148649202315837222noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6886332538030830798.post-1131626689735051582009-01-04T12:35:00.000-08:002013-02-18T09:32:03.046-08:00APN Education CenterAdoptive Parents Network is building the new website in order to help provide information, resources and support for Parents. The goal is to provide easy access to information articles, related resources and visitor and member discussion forums. <br /><br />As the new information and sections are built visitors and members should start to notice things are easier to find! We are currently working on building the APN Education Center. <br /><br />The <a href="http://www.adoptiveparentsnetwork.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=section&id=6&layout=blog&Itemid=17"><strong>APN Education Center</strong></a> will eventually connect all of the information, resources and supports offered through the Adoptive Parents Network website--in central locations. <br /><br />We are excited about the development of the new website and believe our visitors and members will be too! Keep looking for new things on the <a href="http://adoptiveparentsnetwork.com/"><strong>Adoptive Parents Network</strong></a> and be sure to Contact Us or Comment with your suggestions and feedback.Adoptive Parents Networkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11986587986645318359noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6886332538030830798.post-87125612371583584162009-01-03T19:35:00.000-08:002013-02-18T09:32:03.076-08:00At Least it should be Interesting!?Do you know how it feels when you move into a new home and start unpacking? It seems there is an endless number of boxes to unpack, and decissions to make about where everything goes. And, there always seems to be a few things that need to be moved around more then once or twice. <br /><br />Well, it's just about the same when moving to a new Website layout! <br /><br />If you have been visiting the<a href="http://adoptiveparentsnetwork.com/">Adoptive Parents Network!</a> Website you may notice things are being unpacked and moved around! We hope that as everything finds it's place and our visitors are at least finding it interesting...<br /><br />During this early stage it seems our move requires us to take care of some basic structure and set up. If we were a big company we would let everyone know that the site would go offline a few hours... We would do the work fast and all at once and come back up ready to go. <br /><br />The truth is Adoptive Parents Network isn't a big company. Instead this website is created by adoptive, foster and special needs parents. Some of us have years before our children are grown and time is relative! We work hard between packing lunches, doing laundry and driving to therapy appointments. Family First is an important value we hold for ourselves and hope our visitors and members share and support.<br /><br />During the past round of work we have stared building some of the sections and connecting things together. We are excited that kids and spouses will return to their normal routins Monday Morning and ready to roll! <br /><br />If you have any suggestions or feedback please feel free to Contact us or leave comments here on this blog. And be sure to keep checking out the progress and new features and forum on <a href="http://adoptiveparentsnetwork.com/">Adoptive Parents Network!</a>Adoptive Parents Networkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11986587986645318359noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6886332538030830798.post-62620104856993585892008-10-30T09:06:00.000-07:002013-02-18T09:32:03.072-08:00The Owner of APN Needs Your Help!DeAnna Ferlitsch (otherwise known as HappyMomAnna or Anna Glendenning) is going Public with a Request that the Supporters of the Adoptive Parents Network consider contributing to the <a href="http://jailandbail.marchofdimes.com/personal_page.asp?si=DD76ECEB-5519-4E24-8B27-7BEF34F6836F"><strong>March of Dimes</strong></a> in order to Promote Awareness about the issues that will help prevent Premature Birth as well as the Life Long damage caused to unborn babies when exposed to Alcohol and Drugs!
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<br />On November 13, 2008 I will Arrested and Held for Bail (Lunch) I would be so proud if the Adoptive Parents Network is able to raise a nice Bail for this Cause as it is important to the lives of our children and future children.
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<br />I am also VERY Honored to have been selected as a Leader in the Community for this important Fund Raiser!
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<br />SET ME FREE! …and help the March of Dimes arrest the rising rate of premature birth. 1 in 8 babies is born to soon, and often too small. These tiniest babies struggle to survive, and too often many don’t.
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<br />I will soon be incarcerated in the March of Dimes Jail & Bail where I will be served only the finest bread and water (okay, maybe lunch!) You can help ensure my good behavior through your contribution. My hard earned bail will aid and abet the March of Dimes in funding lifesaving programs of research, education and community services. Programs that will save babies’ lives.
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<br />The March of Dimes mission is to improve the health of babies by preventing birth defects, premature birth and infant mortality.
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<br />Contributions may be made with PayPal or by Credit Card directly with the March of Dimes at <a href="http://jailandbail.marchofdimes.com/personal_page.asp?si=DD76ECEB-5519-4E24-8B27-7BEF34F6836F"><strong>This Link</strong></a>
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<br /><a href="http://jailandbail.marchofdimes.com/personal_page.asp?si=DD76ECEB-5519-4E24-8B27-7BEF34F6836F">http://jailandbail.marchofdimes.com/personal_page.asp?si=DD76ECEB-5519-4E24-8B27-7BEF34F6836F</a>
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<br />I hope that the Adoptive Parents Network may be known as people willing to support the Health of all Unborn Babies and that our visitors and Members will see it in their hearts to add what they are able to My Bail!
<br />De Anna Glendenninghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09148649202315837222noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6886332538030830798.post-40976714819063222532008-10-17T12:31:00.000-07:002008-10-30T09:45:34.425-07:00Help APN Out of March of Dimes Jail and BailPress Release:<br />Friday October 17, 2008<br />For Immediate Publication<br /><br />From: The Offices of the Adoptive Parents Network LLC<br /><br />The Adoptive Parents Network was contacted this morning by <a href="http://jailandbail.marchofdimes.com/HappyMomAnna"><strong>The March of Dimes</strong></a>. We were informed that we have been turned in and need to appear before the judge at the Outback Steakhouse on November 13, 2008 at 11:00 AM. <br /><br />Right now only two members of the Adoptive Parents Network have been contacted to appear on the charge of "Most wanted leaders and citizens." Adoptive Parents living in the Metro Portland Oregon and Southwest Washington area can contact Anna for information about Jail Visits or attending court with me!<br /><br />I'm not completely sure how it all works yet! I am waiting for some information from my legal council. I do know that So far the only thing I understand is that the bail amount in cases like this are usually set as High as possible... <br /><br />Below Is some of the information I have found on the Internet about cases like the one Adoptive Parents Network is faced with today:<br /><br /><blockquote><a href="http://www.marchofdimes.com/oregon/5450.asp"><strong>Jail & Bail Greater Oregon Chapter of the March of Dimes</strong></a><br /><br />Join your community’s most wanted leaders and citizens in serving time and raising bail in the form of donations to the March of Dimes.</blockquote><br /><br /><br /><strong><a href="http://www.marchofdimes.com/oregon/5450_31061.asp"><strong>Jail & Bail Outback Steakhouse</strong></a><br /> <br />Ahoy! <br /><br />This year March of Dimes has been commandeered by pirates! Pirates are taking over and capturing the community’s most wanted citizens and throwing them into the slammer. These captives will be forced to walk the plank unless they collect enough treasure to bail themselves out. The pirate booty will go toward improving the health of all babies by funding research to prevent birth defects, premature birth, and infant mortality.</strong><br /><br />If you are interested in Helping the Adoptive Parents Network support the March of Dimes contributions may be made at <a href="http://jailandbail.marchofdimes.com/HappyMomAnna"><strong>This Link</strong></a><br /><br /><a href="http://jailandbail.marchofdimes.com/HappyMomAnna">http://jailandbail.marchofdimes.com/HappyMomAnna</a>De Anna Glendenninghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09148649202315837222noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6886332538030830798.post-62504159020900551232008-10-14T09:52:00.000-07:002013-02-18T09:32:03.069-08:00National Adoption Awareness Month 2008 -- Official Website Launched<strong><a href="http://www.childwelfare.gov/adoption/nam/">The Child Welfare Information Gateway</a></strong>, in partnership with the Collaboration to <strong><a href="http://www.adoptuskids.org/">AdoptUsKids</a></strong>, recently announced the launch of the website for National Adoption Month 2008.
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<br />The early launch of the website allows everyone the opportunity to access information and materials and markn their calendars for events well in advance of the month-long celebration in November.
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<br />Recognized by Presidential Proclamation, National Adoption Month is a time set aside to raise awareness about the need for adoptive parents for children and youth <strong>in foster care</strong>. Under the leadership of the Children's Bureau, National Adoption Month focuses the nation's attention on the 496,000 children in foster care across the country, including the 130,000 children awaiting adoption.
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<br />The National Adoption Month website features a number of resources, including:
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<br /><ul><li>A Calendar of activities for National Adoption Awareness Month, November 2008.</li>
<br /><li>Calendars and other materials are available in English and Spanish.</li>
<br /><li>Highlights and information.</li>
<br /><li>Enhanced search tools for the Spanish version of the National Foster Care and Adoption Directory</li>
<br /><li>Resources for professionals, families, and teachers.</li>
<br /><li>Resources from AdoptUsKids.</li></ul>
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<br />Be sure to Visit the 2008 Website for access and resources about National Adoption Month! And be sure to stay connected to the Adoptive Parents Network for all the inormation about APNs plans, contests and events!De Anna Glendenninghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09148649202315837222noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6886332538030830798.post-19682029550974955872008-09-23T11:19:00.000-07:002013-02-18T09:32:03.052-08:00Fostering Connections to Success and Increasing Adoptions Act of 2008<strong><a href="http://www.govtrack.us/congress/bill.xpd?bill=h110-6893">Fostering Connections to Success and Increasing Adoptions Act of 2008(HR 6893)</a></strong>was passed by the U.S. House of Representatives on September 17 and The U.S. Senate passed the bipartisan Act yesterday, September 22. Now it's headed to the President for his signature. <br /><br /><a href="http://www.govtrack.us/congress/bill.xpd?bill=h110-6893"><strong>The Fostering Connections to Success and Increasing Adoptions Act of 2008(HR 6893)</strong></a>, is the most significant legislation relating to adoption and foster care since the Adoption and Safe Families Act of 1997 was passed. This new legislation includes reforms designed to benefit children in foster care and their best interest in adoption planning and placement.<br /><br /><strong>Some of the reforms include:</strong> <br /><ul><br /><li>Reauthorizing of the Adoption Incentives Program. Where the federal government allocates financial incentives for states with an increase in the number of children adopted from the foster care system, through 2013.</li><br /><br /><li>Increased funding amounts states receive from the Adoption Incentives Program by establishing 2007 as the new “base year” for measurement of future performance, and increasing the additional funding for special needs and older child adoptions.</li><br /><br /><li>Ensures all children with special needs placed out of foster care for adoption are eligible for federal adoption assistance--regardless of the adoptive family's income by 2018</li> <br /><br /><li>Mandates states to inform prospective adoptive parents about their eligibility for the federal adoption tax credit.</li><br /><br /><li>Requires the states to make reasonable efforts to place siblings together.</li><br /><br /><li>Allows the states an option to extend adoption assistance, foster care maintenance and relative guardianship assistance payments for children aged 18, 19 or 20.</li></ul><br /><br />While this Act doesn't resolve some of the very real reforms needed for the foster care and adoption systems it does expand and maintain some of the important elements that have made it possible for more families to be able to adopt children waiting in foster care and meet some of their extraordinary special needs. <br /><br />The government leaders responsible for the passage of the <a href="http://www.govtrack.us/congress/bill.xpd?bill=h110-6893"><strong>Fostering Connections to Success and Increasing Adoptions Act of 2008(HR 6893)</strong></a>include:<br /><ul><br /><li>Representative Jim McDermott (D-WA)</li><br /><li>Representative Jerry Weller (R-IL)</li><br /><li>Senator Baucus (D-MT)</li><br /><li>Senator Grassley (R-IA) and </li><br /><li>Senator Rockefeller (D-WV)</li></ul><br /><br />Please contact these Senators and Representatives to thank them for their leadership on this vital issue and let them know we are out here and appreciate this step and hope we can count on their attention to other matters important to foster care and adoption reforms in the future.<br /><br />GovTrack.us. H.R. 6893--110th Congress (2008): Fostering Connections to Success and Increasing Adoptions Act of 2008, GovTrack.us (database of federal legislation) <http://www.govtrack.us/congress/bill.xpd?bill=h110-6893> (accessed Sep 23, 2008)De Anna Glendenninghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09148649202315837222noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6886332538030830798.post-72633282431896388752008-09-12T12:52:00.000-07:002008-09-13T13:10:42.158-07:00Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders (FASD) AwarenessThe focuse this week at the Adoptive Parents Network has been Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder information and awareness. There has been a lot of new resources added to the <a href="http://apnresources.blogspot.com/"><strong>APN Resource Network</strong></a> as well as several blogs written about this very real social issue.<br /><br />This video is very powerful:<br /><br /><center><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/TCC0d19-6So&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/TCC0d19-6So&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></center><br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKQkKvKOmdOeix9VOePkAwfeEjoRukxoaPdWxdO2nwyC_6FlMZ8oYMIUytKP7-tUWWDx11YUTkkz6nXsWlGPgR5LNk2ExjjXv21e_HrsImSTey8R8fg64byioQ9O8WqbMvu5qtvMWWmrl6/s1600-h/bullet_green.gif"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKQkKvKOmdOeix9VOePkAwfeEjoRukxoaPdWxdO2nwyC_6FlMZ8oYMIUytKP7-tUWWDx11YUTkkz6nXsWlGPgR5LNk2ExjjXv21e_HrsImSTey8R8fg64byioQ9O8WqbMvu5qtvMWWmrl6/s200/bullet_green.gif" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5245224030676053570" /></a><br /> <strong>Related Links:</strong><br /><ul><br /><li><a href="http://apnresources.blogspot.com/search/label/FASD"><strong>APN Resource Network FASD Blogs</strong></a></li><br /><li><a href="http://pub42.bravenet.com/freelink/show.php?usernum=3566214002"><strong>APN Resource Links</strong></a></li></ul>De Anna Glendenninghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09148649202315837222noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6886332538030830798.post-15796244565483486402008-08-26T12:43:00.000-07:002013-02-18T09:32:03.051-08:00A little Quite with busy ParentsIt's one of those times during the year that most parents are eyebrow deep getting ready for a transition back to school and routine. The <a href="http://www.a-mothers-guide.com/"><strong>Back-to-School</strong></a> count down is on, or in some cases over depending on where you live.
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<br />This is one time of the year it is very common for parents to have little time for chit-chat or posting on forums. August, and Late December through February are generally very slow time when it comes to the Adoptive Parents Network forums.
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<br />Which is part of who we are and what this place is all about! The members here are parents first and live comes before playing on the Internet. Some of our newer members waiting for the process to end with their post saying they have become parents may not be aware of how their lives will soon change when they add a baby or child to their families.
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<br />This time of the year is a drain and there is so much to do when there is a child in the home--especially, it that child is school aged. Between all the efforts to squeeze every last bit of fun out of the summer routine and getting ready for school most of the mom's I know are running around in a spending spree of panic with an underlying spark of joy and glee!
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<br />It may be all quiet here but, rest assured once our children ride the bus to school, and their teachers get to know them--the Adoptive Parents Network Forum will be a flurry of posts about everything from IEP issues, behaviors, and funny stories about lost or stolen lunch money!
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<br />Right now most parents of a school aged child are simply operating on "cruise control" enduring the annual ritual of transition back to Mom has time to Dust and Mop as well as post on the Adoptive Parents Network Forum about the things found hidden under the sheets in the hall linen closet...
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<br />Here's to everyone waiting for the sound of the school bus breaks! Can't want to see you when the dust and first of the year papers are settled...
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<br />....where was that coupon for the free manicure with the 30 minute neck massage?De Anna Glendenninghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09148649202315837222noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6886332538030830798.post-41640246825725798672008-08-24T19:05:00.000-07:002013-02-18T09:32:03.059-08:00APN Resource Network: Link Share~
<br />As a part of Adoptive Parents Network's new Resource section visitors and members are invited to add links to any valuable website under ten different categories.
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<br />The APN Resource Network Link Share is designed to offer visitors or members a quick and easy way to Add a Link to our <a href="http://pub42.bravenet.com/freelink/show.php?usernum=3566214002"><strong>Network Resource Link Share</strong></a>.
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<br />If you have discovered our found a useful resource website please feel free to add it to the <a href="http://pub42.bravenet.com/freelink/show.php?usernum=3566214002"><strong>APN Resource Network Link Share.</strong></a> At this time we have the following categories to choose from:
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<br /><li><strong>Adoption Information</strong> (general) Add or read links to websites that offer general information and support about adoption, statistics, organizations and other websites that visitors and members of the Adoptive Parents Network might find useful.</li>
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<br /><li><strong>Domestic Adoption</strong> This is the perfect category for visitors and members to share information about websites those interested in adopting privately may find helpful. Including, newborn private adoption, and Step Parent Adoption.</li>
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<br /><li><strong>Foster Adoption</strong> Add or find those important website links for all those different places Foster parents, Foster to Adopt parents and pre Adoptive Parent placements for children in foster care may ever want or need.</li>
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<br /><li><strong>International Adoption</strong> Laws, rules and issues are always changing. Be sure to add any links about the issues International Adoptive parents and families may need to know about.</li>
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<br /><li><strong>Parenting</strong> Do you know a great parenting site, or a website that offers parents tools, services or tips that might help them in problem areas, or in general? Then please share it here with all of the visitors of the Adoptive Parents Network... Our First goal is to be the best parents we can be so Share your Secrets websites here!</li>
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<br /><strong>Support Groups & Training</strong> Do you know of any great support group websites, or websites published by support groups? How about Post Adoption Services and any announcement sites? Share it with Adoptive Parents Network here on our Resource Network and also in our Forums where there are boards for each State and nearly any specific issue that may be related! The more we share it here the more people in the specific locations may have the opportunity to know about the various efforts available to help support each other in Real Life!</li>
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<br /><li><strong>Education </strong> This is not just and adoptive parents issue but, it is also one of the greatest issues many parents face. The education Resource Links are set aside for any informative, supportive or helpful website parents and adoptive parents might need as we deal with the educational issues of today!</li>
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<br /><li><strong>Mental Health </strong> and all the services we find and don't find! This is another area where the more information we can share the better informed another parent may be if they should face the same kinds of issues. Today, we see an ever increasing need for Child Mental Health services and a complete failure for their to be a safety net in place for some children with the greatest needs. Please share what you find with all of us about Mental Health in this category of the APN Resource Network.</li>
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<br /><li><strong>Special Needs</strong> Whatever the need might be, if you have found a website with information or support for special needs parents then we hope you will consider sharing that link with everyone here. </li>
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<br /><li><strong>Advocate </strong> Adoptive Parents Network not only hopes to connect parents with each other, but to also unit parents in the identification of issues and efforts to Advocate for reform and change. We believe that as a larger more organized voice we might find some ways to help solve a few problems or at least help see changes in things that are not working. </li>
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<br />If you don't have anything to add to the <a href="http://pub42.bravenet.com/freelink/show.php?usernum=3566214002"><strong>APN Resource Network Link Share</strong></a>, it's no big deal please just remember it and check it out next time you are looking for something!
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<br />De Anna Glendenninghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09148649202315837222noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6886332538030830798.post-26518977912959872142008-08-21T13:23:00.000-07:002013-02-18T09:32:03.055-08:00The APN Resource Network<br>
<br />One of the unique qualities the Adoptive Parents Network website wants to offer is connections and sharing or information and resources. Our goal is to provide a website which makes it simple for our members and visitors to add to the information and support offered.
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<br />Adoptive Parents Network has just added a new Main Menu Link and Section to the website... the <a href="http://apnresources.blogspot.com/"><strong>APN Resource Network.</strong></a> As this section is developed it will become the HUB of resources and infromation for foster, adoptive and special needs parents.
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<br />There are several tools for visitors and members to contribute, connect and find resources for a variety of topics that relate to becoming foster, adoptive and special needs parents.
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<br />APN Resource Network offers visitors and members easy access. The APN Resource Network features a variety of tools offering those who want to stay connected with the resouce network several options for quick and easy location as well as notification.
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<br />The Adoptive Parents Network main website fetures a direct link in the top menue on most of the website pages. Visitors and members are always one click away from the Network Resources.
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<br />Visitors and members are also offered easy access from outside of the main website. By visiting directly using your browser navagation and entering the direct link: <strong>http://apnresources.blogspot.com/</strong>
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<br />Clicking from inside APN.com will keep visitors inside APN.com In order to access from outsite enter the url directly in your browser. If your interest is to stay up to date on new information added to the APN Resource Network visitors and members can subscribe to this section by email or read it from a variety of feed readers.
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<br />The APN Resource Network features a tool designed to allow any visitor or member to Add a Link to our <a href="http://pub42.bravenet.com/freelink/show.php?usernum=3566214002"><strong>Network Resource Link Share</strong></a> with several current categories to choose from:
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<br />Adoption Information (general)
<br />Domestic Adoption
<br />Foster Adoption
<br />International Adoption
<br />Parenting
<br />Support Groups & Training
<br />Education
<br />Mental Health
<br />Special Needs
<br />Advocate
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<br />APN looks forward to expanding the Network Resource section and by offering information and easy to use tools designed to connect parents with information and services designed to support Foster, Adoptive and Special Needs parents. Our goal is that not only will parents have access to these resources with ease, but that they also contribute by adding links and commenting on the articles posted.
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<br /></span>De Anna Glendenninghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09148649202315837222noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6886332538030830798.post-49706266664033275602008-07-31T11:10:00.000-07:002013-02-18T09:32:03.062-08:00Fast and Snappy verses Processing DelaysAs summer drags on and I find myself spending lots of extra time interacting with my children it's easy for me to get stuck thinking that all I ever do is "correct, order and reprimand" all day long...
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<br />Considering the fact that my lovely 10-year-old daughter has Fetal Alcohol Spectrume Disorders -- FASD, I have learned to be more patient with my instructions to her as well as recognize the fact that I will need to repeat myself over and over... I will need to Re-Teach her the same basic skills over and over... Prompt and remind over and over... doing so with Love and Tolerance.
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<br /><p>The truth has been that since the moment I came to terms with the fact that FASD and in her case, Alcohol-Related Neurodevelopmental Disorders -- ARND, is not a behavior issue things have been much easier to deal with. What I used to view as her Reactive Attachment Disorder -- RAD behaviors seem to be more simple to manage and interestingly some of the most difficult behavior problems of a year ago have changed completely. </p>
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<br />Things had become so difficult with Makala that we were not sure if we would be able to live that way much longer. Our attention had been working on "Attachment" for the four long years we had been together as a family. It's difficult to be told that a child behaves they way mine did--just because the child isn't attached to ME!
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<br />I had tried all the advice given by other parents with RAD Kid's and things only got worse in our home... Much worse.
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<br />You see, it's pretty hard for a child who has brain damage to be expected to react, respond or even understand the words they are hearing... at least right at the moment the words were spoken.
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<br />My perspective a year ago was right in line with the advice I was getting about "How To" parent a RAD Child. I was doing Attachment Parenting by the numbers, and feeling like the world around me simply had no clue what living with a RAD Kid is like... I was expecting my daughter to be "Fast and Snappy" and to do what I told her to do right when I told her to do it... I wasn't counting 1-2-3 so she would have three more chances to ignore me... Consequences were delivered swiftly and consistantly. And I expected her to look in my eyes when I spoke to her... This time last summer her room was nearly empty and there wasn't much else to take away from her without it going into the "abusive" side of consequences...
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<br />She wasn't happy.
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<br />I wasn't happy.
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<br />No One in this house was happy.
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<br />Things have changed a lot this year and it's mostly been because of the way I have changed how I deal with life. Learning to understand that brain damage caused by prenatal drug or alcohol exposure isn't the same as Not Attaching has changed our world.
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<br />Many parents dealing with the same or simular issue we have parenting our daughter seem to believe that RAD is the primary problem and that without healing the Reactive Attachment Disorer must happen before nearly anything else. I disagree and to be honest I didn't become a mother so that someone would Love and Attach to me. I became a mother so that I could raise up nice grown-up's who went on to have nice stable lives... If the kid's love and attach to me that's a bonus!
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<br />Fast and Snappy is how some therapists and RAD Parents Expect their child to respond when given an instruction. The child needs to learn to follow directions and react instantly when asked or told to do something. If the child doesn't respond Fast and Snappy then the child is simply being a Radish and resisting the control the parent has over their lives. Not jumping up and doing what they are told that Moment is seen as a sign of defiance...
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<br />vs.
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<br />Children with brian damage casued by prenatal Alcohol or Drug exposure often show this damage in areas of Processing information and limited short-term memory. These childrean just might NOT have processed an instruction or words spoken by the time they are in trouble and mom is counting 1-2-3 and giving out consequences. A child with FASD isn't willfully ignoring her parent's words nor is it about Attachment.
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<br />The bottom line for me and my family has been that Fast and Snappy only counts if the child is able to process new information and is in a state of mind where short-term memory isn't gone for the moment.
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<br />When the RAD Mom that I am stopped and came to understand that everything isn't about attachment and some things are about real life long and unrepairable brain damage our entire world has changed and so has Makala's.
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<br /></span>De Anna Glendenninghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09148649202315837222noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6886332538030830798.post-24546995411918852572008-07-28T10:40:00.000-07:002008-07-28T12:41:55.263-07:00It's Time to Call YOUR Senator: Reauthorize the Adoption Incentives Program!As I have written in the past the federal program providing the funds for Adoption Incenives which includ the monthly adoption assistance or subsidy payments expires in 2010. As most adoptive families may or may not remember there was and is not guarentee adoption assistance subsidies will Always be there for families and that includes those families currently recieving subsudy assistance.<br /><br /><strong>It's time to make that Call to Washington!</strong> It's time to ask our Senators to act Right NOW and reauthorize the Adoption Incentive Program in order to promote adoption of children from foster care!<br /><br />CALL IN LINE ARE OPEN TODAY and Tomorrow--Monday and Tuesday, July 28 and 29.<br /><br /><br /><div align="center"><strong><span style="font-size:180%;">1-888-686-8191</span></strong></div><br />It is very simple to make this call simpply dial the number and follow the voice prompts. You will be asked to enter your ZIP code and then connected directly to your Senator’s office. Today is the day to ask you senator to reauthorize the Adoption Incentive Program!<br /><br />Currently there are 129,000 children and young people in foster care waiting to leave the system – for good – to join permanent families by adoption. Every day without a permanent family feels like a lifetime to a child.<br /><br />The bipartisan Adoption Incentive Program has helped more than 443,000 children leave the uncertainty of foster care to join adoptive families – but unless Congress acts now, it will <strong>expire on September 30, 2008.</strong><br /><br />The House acted unanimously to improve and reauthorize the Adoption Incentive Program in late June. Please join us in urging the Senate to act before August recess begins.<br /><br />Senators on the Finance Committee, which has jurisdiction over the nation’s foster care system, will play a key role in promoting safe, permanent families for our most vulnerable children.<br /><br />Please call your senators if you are from one of the following states:<br /><br /><br /><span id="fullpost"><br /><br /></span><span id="fullpost"><hr /><br /><br />If you live in one of the following states please take a moment and call:<br /><br /><div align="center"><strong><span style="font-size:130%;">1-888-686-8191</span></strong></div><br /><br /><ul><li>Arizona</li><li>Arkansas</li><li>Colorado</li><li>Idaho</li><li>Iowa</li><li>Kansas</li><li>Kentucky</li><li>Oregon</li><li>Maine</li><li>Massachusetts</li><li>Michigan</li><li>Montana</li><li>Nevada</li><li>New Hampshire</li><li>New Mexico</li><li>New York</li><li>North Dakota</li><li>Oregon</li><li>Utah</li><li>Washington </li></ul><p>Urge the Senate to reauthorize and improve the Adoption Incentive Program to promote adoption for children in foster care!<br /><br />Please help spread the word by forwarding this e-mail to your friends, family, colleagues, and networks and encourage others to take action today! Please post this inforamation in other Adoption Forums and Write Blogs about this issue right away....<br /><br /><strong></strong></p><p><strong><a href="http://www.adoptioncouncil.org/documents/CallinPosterAdoptionIncentiveProgram.pdf"><span style="font-size:130%;">Click here for a downloadable flyer.</span></a></strong><span style="font-size:130%;"> </span><br /><br />And Be Sure to POST that you have called and spread the word by letting everyone on the <a href="http://www.adoptiveparentsnetwork.com/index.php?option=com_fireboard&Itemid=216&func=showcat&catid=117"><strong>Adoptive Parents Network Forums KNOW!</strong> </a><br /></p></span>De Anna Glendenninghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09148649202315837222noreply@blogger.com0